“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” — Mark Twain.
That quote is simple, yet profound. And it has implications in the legal world. I think I’ve known that for some time, but I came face to face with it earlier this week while representing a client charged with making a false report to the police. (Surprisingly, that is a class D felony in the great State of Tennessee, 2-12 years. Perjury is only a class A misdemeanor… Figure that one out if you can!)
My client was charged because she allegedly gave less than honest information to the police regarding an investigation. I will spare the details as they matter little to the point of this post. But needless to say, the State had a good case.
As part of my investigation in this case, I interviewed my client. This is standard. But what I quickly came to realize was that she was forgetting to remember what she needed to remember. The longer I talked, the fuzzier the story became. It made for an interesting conversation. Almost like asking my two-year old daughter about her dreams. It starts with princesses and toys but quickly gets to unicorns and magic. My client’s story morphed into an asymmetrical fairy tale.
Yet, somewhere in the mess, she made a good point. The “false statement” was not really false. It just wasn’t completely true. How is that you ask?! Well it all depends upon the question asked. For instance, if you are asked, “Where did you get this item?” and you state “From my house.” That may very well be true, except that prior to the item being at your home it was stolen. So you didn’t lie, you just omitted portions of the truth. If that feels a little sticky, you are in good company. Parsing words to interfere with a police investigation may result in criminal charges. And for my client, it did.
But the problem with parsing words or flat out making false statements, is that you have to keep up with the fiction. And as was evident by my client’s recollection, that’s hard to do.
See, when we actually experience things we can recall them. (some people are better at this than others) However, if we are making up a story, it is hard to recall when asked to re-recite it. The reason is that you didn’t have the real world experience to go along with the story.
I’d venture to say everyone has experienced the nostalgia that comes when a familiar aroma breaches your senses. Like the smell of grilled hot dogs tossing your mind to the warm summer nights at the ball park. It is the senses, other than sight, that ease in the recollection of memories. You don’t have that with lies.
And so, there was my client, facing 2+ years incarceration, for parsing words (allegedly) in an attempt to cover up a misdemeanor theft. And the more she talked the more tangled the web become. Luckily, I was able to negotiate a plea deal, resulting in hefty fines but no incarceration.
The moral is two-fold. First, it doesn’t pay to lie or parse words with the police. You’d be better served to just shut up. And finally, if your going to lie, do so one stand under oath before a judge… Its only a misdemeanor. (That is obviously a joke, please do not commit perjury… And if the lie is about something material in the case, its a felony too.)
Below is my attempt to modernize Mr. Twain’s quote:
“In order to not have to remember what you can’t afford to forget, tell the truth.”
For a good resource on how to not lie but never tell the truth, visit Washington D.C. or any State Capital.
Brandon J. Cox, esq.
201 West Main Street
Smithville, TN 37166
(615) 597-5297
Coxlaw Blog 